When A Sail Becomes an Anchor
Many of us become supports to others due to our sturdiness. But when a sail becomes an anchor, the ship can go down alarmingly fast.
Early on, I learned to be the "good daughter"—quiet, compliant, and perfect at every note on the violin. That ability to attune to others is why I became a therapist. But that same strength can quickly become an exhausting performance of competence.
A Quick Vitals Check: Where is your sturdiness on the scale today?
The Observer: You click into "expert mode" before entering the room, but you feel like you’re watching yourself from the ceiling. You are competent, but you aren't actually there.
The Cage: Your stubbornness has lost its flexibility. You’ve stopped asking "why" and are just focused on getting the task "over with." You are tired of standing in the current.
The Reflexive "Yes": You agree to another shift or committee seat not because you want to, but because the thought of being "unreliable" feels viscerally painful.
The Body’s Protest: You feel the tightness in your chest or a "melting face" exhaustion. You’ve become an expert at silencing your body, but the shelved emotions are starting to speak.
If these vitals are flagged, know that you don't have to double-down and out-endure the weight alone. We aren’t meant to be anchors forever.
If you’re tired of endurance and ready to find your sails again, I’m here to help you navigate the way back.
