Anxiety and Courage

On their face, they seem at odds, right?

Avoidance is fear. It's defense. It's the belief that we can outrun something — that if we just don't look at it, don't go near it, don't name it, it will stop being true. And over time, that avoidance is what makes anxiety stronger. It slowly erodes our freedom and our access to ourselves. But life has a way of putting it right back in our face. Sooner or later.

In my practice as a therapist, one of the first things I tell clients is that the work we do requires a level of authenticity. That statement is said as an invitation.

I fully understand that authenticity in our world is scary—often risky. It’s vulnerable. A leap, the feeling of weightlessness. The unknown—will you land? Will you die in the descent?

Probably not.

So why would I invite people to try being authentic with me?

Well, for starters—in my experience, therapy is all about the relationship we build together. That’s where the biggest changes happen. I endeavor to bring my most authentic self into the room to meet your authentic self where you are at.

Finding authenticity is a process in therapy. A choice. Not a prerequisite or a demand. It’s a process of the emergence of courage leading to building trust in a relationship, often when that trust has been shattered by another, or by other life circumstances.

This year, perhaps more than others, I have been summoning my own courage. I have taken opportunities to challenge myself, confront my own anxiety, in ways the Morgan of last year would be shocked to know about. You see I’m actually a very shy person. I feel I mask my way through being shy in public pretty well—perhaps because when I interact with others, I’m still operating within my own comfort zone. But this year, I decided to challenge myself in many ways outside of my comfort zone, and face my own anxieties.

I’ve met new people, started asking and expecting more of those close to me in ways that are supportive of me and our relationship, I have done some very public things and stood in what I have perceived as the spotlight in big ways—like showing up to events alone in rooms full of strangers.

And it has taught me that life can be so much more than what we expect. WE can be more than we imagined ourselves to be. Our relationships can grow and be more of what we want and need them to be.

Our anxiety wants us to stay small and safe. And while—yes, safety is very important—staying small and safe is a difficult way to live, as it makes your world so small you can’t breathe or live in it.

This year, I have been asking that of myself. And what I've found on the other side of scared is not safety. It's capacity. Room. A life that fits.

That's what I'm inviting you into.

“Where your fear is, there is your task.” - Carl Jung